Jorė Gritėnaitė
Invited by the city Kaunas, Lithuania
“The result is clear: routine turns into daily rituals and the living during quarantine - into a slow dance to a present moment.”
A day before the education process was stopped due to the global pandemic, I had an oral part of the national Lithuanian language exam. I gave a speech on the two essential — physical and emotional — aspects of loneliness in the 20 century's Lithuanian literature. Little did I know all of us will soon be facing physical isolation, which also will make enough space to experience emotional solitude. The global quarantine started a few days after and my whole world suddenly shrunk to the neighbourhood in peninsula. As there are forests and caressing hands I cannot complain. Nevertheless, I feel isolated with a longing for the things that do not belong to my present world. Something is always missing. But even then, I believe that the distances that happened recently are shaping the new perspective of community, as well as teach us to finally witness our forests and caressing hands that have always been there.
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I remember that I've been wandering around Kaunas without the purpose for a while and observed every corner of the city as if I already knew that soon enough the only way to get lost in my hometown will be while daydreaming. Yesterday I saw a picture of Liberty Avenue in Kaunas on my news feed; it was full of flowers. The thought that I will hardly be able to walk down the Avenue for a coffee while the daffodils are still blooming really hit me. Now I could keep going and name my personal losses, but it is our collective discoveries that are really worth focusing on. The sense of community is what I discover: my grandma cannot do grocery shopping, so I go to the shop with her hand-written list; the night clubs are closed, but you can dance the night away to your favourite DJs performing online; the libraries are out of service, so I share my books with a friend; the cultural events are cancelled, but contemporary dance performances can be seen through the windows, not to mention Vilnius International Film Festival which goes virtually for the very first time... Our creativity and our sense of togetherness during these challenging times leave me breathless. While being there for each other we are more united than ever; we are returning to a whole.
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When I went to my first solo trip last year, I did it by a conscious choice. At that time I felt desperately lonely in a foreign city: I was thirsty for my beloved ones and the streets I knew by heart. Yet, as the days passed, my loneliness started making sense: I began to appreciate the undiscovered streets of blooming Berlin and the fact, that the only intimacy I could indulge was my connection to myself. I had no other option than to mindfully accept with gratitude my current conditions of living. Even though today I am surrounded by my loved ones and homelike streets, the lesson is the same — being attentive towards what is around you. The result is clear: routine turns into daily rituals and the living during quarantine — into a slow dance to a present moment.
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The day will come and the people will freely flow in the streets, and the time spent apart will be compensated by the touches and the whispers of our darlings, but nothing will be the same anymore. For we will be different — stronger as a community and with our eyes wide open to the beauty of the presence.
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Dieną prieš ugdymo proceso sustabdymą laikiau lietuvių kalbos egzamino dalį – kalbėjimo įskaitą. Savo kalboje nagrinėjau vienatvės temą lietuvių XX a. literatūroje dviem aspektais – fiziniu ir emociniu. Tada dar nenumaniau, kad visai netrukus fizinė atskirtis taps mus visus sujungsiančia neišvengiamybe, kurioje apstu vietos ir emocinei vienatvei patirti. Paskelbus visuotinį karantiną, mano pasaulis staiga susitraukė iki gyvenvietės pusiasalyje. Kol kas nesiskundžiu – jame yra ir miškų, ir užglostančių rankų. Visgi, esu izoliuota kartu su dalykų, kurie nepriklauso mano šiandieniniam pasauliui, ilgesiu. Nepaisant to, kaip sparčiai šis ilgesys auga, aš tikiu, kad nutikę atstumai mums atveria naują bendruomeniškumo perspektyvą bei moko dėmesingumo – pamatyti savus miškus ir glostančias rankas.
Atsimenu, kad jau kurį laiką be tikslo vaikščiodama po Kauną, godžiai gėriau jį akimis, lyg nujausdama, kad greitai vienintelis būdas pasiklysti mieste bus užsimerkus, savo galvoje. Prieš porą dienų naujienų portale mačiau žieduose skendinčios Laisvės alėjos nuotrauką. Širdį suspaudė, nes vargu ar teks eiti ja kavos nuo pat Soboro iki senamiesčio, narcizams tebežydint. Galėčiau pulti vardinti asmeninius praradimus, tačiau daug svarbiau man atrodo tai, ką šiuo ypatingu metu atrandame. O aš atrandu bendrystės galią: mano močiutė negali nuvykti apsipirkti, todėl važiuoju į parduotuvę su jos ranka parašytu pirkinių sąrašu; klubai uždaryti, todėl atlikėjai gyvai transliuoja pasirodymus socialiniuose tinkluose; biblioteka nedirba, todėl dalinuosi knygomis su mylimu draugu; kultūriniai renginiai atšaukti, tad šiuolaikinio šokio performansai vyksta po daugiabučių langais, o Kino Pavasaris pirmąjį kartą vyksta virtualioje erdvėje... Kaskart netenku amo, kokie vieningi ir kūrybingi esame pernakt pasikeitusiame pasaulyje. Saviizoliacijos akivaizdoje labiau nei bet kada esame vieni kitiems ir vieni per kitus. Kai prieš metus išsiruošiau į pirmąją solo kelionę, sąmoningai rinkausi šią patirtį. Tuomet svetimame mieste jaučiausi vieniša kaip niekad: alkau prisijaukintų žmonių artumo ir mintinai išmoktų gatvių. Vis dėlto, bėgant dienoms, mano vienatvė įgavo prasmę – pradėjau vertinti neatrastas žydinčio Berlyno gatves ir tai, kad vienintelis artumas, kuriuo mėgavausi, buvo ryšys su savimi. Suvokusi, jog neturiu kitos išeities, su dėkingumu priėmiau tuometines būties sąlygas. Nors šiandien mane supa artimieji ir pažįstamos gatvės, pamoka ta pati – dėmesingumas tam, kas aplinkui. Rezultatas aiškus: rutina virsta kasdieniniais ritualais, o gyvenimas karantino metu – lėtu šokiu dabartin. Ateis diena ir gatvėmis vėl laisvai tekės žmonės, o susitikę brangų žmogų, galėsime prisilietimais kompensuoti mėnesius, praleistus atskirai, tik niekas nebebus taip, kaip buvę. Nes mes visi būsime kitokie – labiau bendrumeniški ir plačiau atsimerkę kasdienybės grožiui. |
Jorė GritėnaitėJorė Gritėnaitė is a nineteen-year-old creator from Kaunas, who currently devotes most of her time to poetry genre. The author has been presenting her poems at poetry reading and slam events, and this year her works were published for the first time in the niche youth publication "Pašvaistė". Jore’s field of activity is not limited to creative writing. Together with the team formed during the Kaunas 2022 youth program “Kaunas Challenge”, she is successfully developing the audio culture project PUOTA. The main mission of the project is to take culture beyond the borders of traditional art spaces, to integrate it into the routine of citizens and to look for alternative forms of presenting artistic content. The PUOTA project, initiated by Kaunas youth in 2019, won Kaunas 2022 funding for implementation and took place in October in the format of a festival and was nominated as the Most Memorable Kaunas Cultural Initiative of the year.
Photo: © Arnas Simkevicius |
About Europe at Home
This project invites different European cities to bring an artistic perspective on the particular moment of our history – the COVID-19 pandemic - that was lived “at home”. “Europe at Home” is a project carried out by Faro – European Capital of Culture 2027 Candidate City. For more information, please send us an email. |
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